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Notice: This post is purely my own opinion and is not intended to bash or criticize those who use social media. Just sharing my own experiences to help others.
There is so much pressure put on moms to have everything put together every single day. Hair and make up done, dressed to the nines to go through the drop off line, kids need to be little models.
If I’m being honest, I’m dang tired of all these rules of how we “should” be. Why do we feel the need to keep up with Mrs. Wonderful on Instagram?
I know you know who she is. The one with perfect hair, perfect face, fits into every outfit perfectly and probably doesn’t have to jump around the room to get them over her hips. She has it all it seems, right?
9/10 times I guarantee she is just like the rest of us but hides it better.
Guarantee her kids cry over not being able to eat dog food, just like ours. She probably wakes up and looks like some kind of gremlin, just like us. And most likely, she probably thinks she’s failing at this whole mom thing, just like us.
So often we spend time watching these “perfect” people and it leads us to question our own worth. Many times, leading people to depression and questioning why we are not good enough. There is no need for this.
So I’m throwing out some truth bombs for you to remember when using social media.
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It is True: Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Listen ladies, or gentlemen, the greatest thief of joy is comparison. We have all heard this, yes? So why do we constantly sit and judge and compare others lives against our own?
Why do we assume that perfect mom with the perfect body, perfect kids, perfect husband, with the perfect house is actually perfect? Everyone has flaws. E V E R Y O N E. Yes, even including you and I. Honestly, that is what makes us, us.
We are constantly getting onto social media and comparing our “mediocre” lives with a skewed reality of someone else’s “fabulous” life.
LISTEN: People only show you what they want to show you and 9/10 times it is only going to be the good stuff!
You need to understand that the people you follow on social media are just everyday people like you and I. From my perspective: The only thing that is usually special about them is that they went “viral” or are super attractive and dress half naked for the attention. And guess what? They only look good naked because they use the right techniques when taking pictures.
And no, I am absolutely not bashing the “influencers” that have worked their asses off to get where they are. Even so, we have GOT to stop idolizing these people while putting ourselves down.
Your Time is Coming
To go along with the above, I feel a great sense of comparison leads to depression because you are comparing someone elses chapter 10 to your chapter 2. We have all heard this one too, right?
Just because Mrs. Perfect and her husband have the big beautiful home now, doesn’t mean that you are inferior because you are still in your starter home. Most “influencers” share their stories and will tell you that’s not where they started out.
One of the very best things I have ever read and I thrive off of now:
“We all start at zero”
Ruth Soukup – How to Blog for Profit
How dang powerful is that!? I love that so much!
Y’all, you need to understand that unless someone is born with a silver spoon in their mouth and a jet waiting to take them to them shopping in Paris, they start at the bottom just like us.
No one has a clue as to what they are doing. No one. Not even the queens on the gram.
When you start to feel yourself comparing – you need to say, feel, believe this:
“It is not my time, but my time is coming”
Amy Stone – Organized Chaos Chronicles
I promise you, coming from a previous comparison expert, believing that your time is coming and just being genuinely happy for others, does a WORLD of difference.
A Little Secret: The Ones Who Brag the Most are Actually the Least Happy
It’s not called “Fakebook” for nothing.
Hear me out, this probably doesn’t apply to everyone, some people are just braggy in nature. But do you ever see those people that are CONSTANTLY talking about how happy, in love, and perfect their life is? Yeah, they aren’t actually happy.
A lot of the time, people are so miserable, sad, hurt, unhappy in real life that they try to make up for it on social media. To be honest, I can point this out about 95% of the time.
The ones who were bragging about their marriage, end up divorced. The ones bragging about working out, stop all together (that me!), and the ones that are bragging just about how freaking wonderful their life is, is actually super in need of a friend.
You see, it is so incredibly easy to make up a fake life on social so why wouldn’t we?
Nobody knows how bad our marriage is so I’ll make up for it by sharing old pictures or bragging about something that pissed me off in hopes of validating my unhappiness in likes and comments.
I am so unhappy with my body, if I share this picture of me maybe someone else will tell me I’m beautiful and I’ll go eat like garbage because I am fine the way I am. They said so, so it must be true.
I am absolutely miserable, but instead of dealing with it, I am going to be validated instantly with likes and comments and I’ll be better in a few minutes.
Living proof right here: Years ago, I posted the flowers my husband (back then he was just my baby daddy) got me to make up for the fact we had fought ALL DAY. No one knew we are fighting but I posted the flowers to make it seem like everything was fine. It wasn’t, but no one knew. As far as the “public” knew we were happy and in love. Get my point?
Our happiness isn’t coming from a place of truth, but instead if we make ourselves appear to be happy, others want to be happy for us. Then, they validate this behavior with instant gratification and it turns into a cycle that continues until we break.
Does that make sense?
I see it all the time and as bad as it sounds, I have a handful of friends on Facebook that if I were to peak into their real life I would prove myself right.
Guys, don’t get caught up in someone’s perfection, it could very easily all be a lie.
Which brings me to my next point…
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Humble Yourself Before God does it for You.
If you would like to refer to God as “The Universe” instead that is fine.
God has a great way of humbling us if we are getting a little carried away.
Just like above, when we are going off about how perfect our lives are and such, God will be sure to knock us down a few pegs.
If you are going to be on social media, please stay humble. If you don’t know what humble means:
Humble:
Having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance.
“he was humble about his stature as one of rock history’s most influential guitarists”
Oxford Languages
Guys, it is simply not bragging about yourself in hopes of getting attention.
I think in order to solve that issue with being on social media, we need to start with ourselves.
There is a difference between saying:
“We finally had a night away from the kids, it was such a relaxing evening and it was so nice to have some time just the two of us”
Versus
“We had the best night last night, we went to dinner and we spent $723 on dinner. OMG we splurge so much! LOL! I don’t know why nobody takes the time time to really enjoy their spouse, it was so great! We even decided on a whim to take a trip next weekend to mountains! My husband is just the best and spoils me so much! We have the perfect marriage, perfect kids, and we are so so so so blessed!!! OMG #blessed”
Do you see the difference? The first is more than likely genuine and true. When you are truly happy you don’t need to brag because you have the peace in your heart.
The other is very fake and looking for the attention because they probably didn’t enjoy the evening and are looking to make up for it. OR they did enjoy the evening but need validation from outsiders to make them feel whole.
Does that make sense? Have you seen this before?
Being braggy is a way of saying “hey look at me! I don’t think I am worthy, look at me, give me attention so that I have a false sense of happiness within myself!!”
When we are like this, God has a way of knocking us down so that we can no longer brag about what we have or who we are. You must, for the sake of yourself, keep to yourself and stop looking for attention and false validation.
The Whole Point is…
My whole point breaks down to: Don’t take social media so seriously to the point you are changing yourself to fit in when most of what you see is fake or only the really good stuff anyway.
No ones life is perfect and if someone is having a rough time they most likely are not going to share it because that will pull away from their happy and flawless pages.
Again, not everyone you see on social media is going to fit in with this post. There are many, many, MANY real and genuine people out there and some that actually share a bit too much. But you know those people are real and want to share their lives with you.
Helpful tip: If you are following someone and you can feel that you have negative emotions about yourself because of them, stop watching them. You are allowed to unfollow or mute them. You do not need to put yourself down to lift others higher. If anything, let their so called “perfection” help motivate you if you feel you need to be better but don’t do it at the expense of your peace.
