When we are out and about with our big family, we usually get two reactions: “Are they all yours?” or “Your hands are full! Better you than me!” Both reactions are a bit iffy to work with but we brush it off and move on.
Life in a big family is chaotic but so much fun and filled with love!
What we love about being a big family, honestly, is the chaos that comes with all these kiddos!
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Truly.
On the rare occasion we have the house to ourselves, we look at each other knowing the quiet is just not what we enjoy.
There are also the times when the kids are just way too much to handle and we need a break. Over-all, the chaos of a big family is like nothing else.
For example, as I sit here getting these thoughts out, our three older boys are upstairs screaming with laughter and slamming doors, while we have guys installing our solar panels. They probably think were nuts!
Also, the twins are trying to nap and the dogs are still going crazy because the workers are here. I’m telling you – chaos 24/7!
Life in a big family is never quiet. Like, ever.
Someone is always crying, yelling, laughing, dancing, running, arguing over a toy or sneaking out of the house to play.
Big family life is crazy! No way to sugar coat that! Here are a few realities of big family life!
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There is always someone to get into trouble with.
We have six kids ranging in age from nine to eight-month-old twins so everyone always has a buddy to play (or fight) with. This changes on the day and activity but there is always someone there to play with or a shoulder to lean on.
They also know who they can get into the most trouble with and who can get away with what.
You want to get into the cookies after mom already said no? Make the baby of the family steal the cookies and all hide behind the couch while eating them. That will work!
You learn to let the little things go.
When dealing with a big family, there is always a lot of chaos and craziness – if you tried to control everything, you would literally go insane!
I remember when we were with my grandmother, she just couldn’t understand why we were letting our kids get away with what they were doing. I explained to her I couldn’t control every move and if I tried I would be yelling at them from the moment they woke up to the moment they fell asleep. Talk about exhausting!!
So, you learn to only care about the big things – Of course you need to teach them as they grow and keep them safe. But you learn to let them get muddy, eat ice cream for dinner, wear what they want to and learn that perfection isn’t real.
Mom and Dad time becomes a necessity.
Having a big family usually means there are the parents and then a whole bunch of kids.
Years ago, when we only had two kids, each kid went with an adult. Now, there are three kids per adult. Or when dad is working, there are six kids and one mom. This part is rough! Let me make no mistake about that! There are much more kids than adults and the kids over power mom and dad, leaving us exhausted and wanting alone time.
This is when we decided that mom and dad need to make marriage number one priority over the kids.
Nope. This doesn’t mean that we don’t love and want to spend time with our kids, but in order for us to take care of them, we need to make ourselves a priority. Can’t pour from an empty cup, right?
Also, when the kids are grown up and move out, there will just be mom and dad left, we need to keep our marriage alive so when the focus is no longer on the kids, we still have our fire lit to finish out our lives.
You get a lot of attention, dirty looks, and unnecessary comments.
When we had our first four babies and I was clearly pregnant with our twins, the looks and comments we got out in public were insane. Doesn’t help that I have always looked very young.
Think 12 year old but in a 16 year olds body, but in reality I’m a late 20 something. Haha!
The looks older people give vary between looks of awe, love for the little kids, and looks of disapproval! Also, if you have a lot of children you will be asked multiple times if they are all by the same father. Yes, I have been asked multiple times.
Oh! The comments “You know how babies are made, right” or “Better you than me, I’d rather have money” Ha Ha Ha people think they’re being funny so you just ignore them. What else are you going to do, right?
But, I guess with anyone out in public people will assume they have the right to know your personal life. We just smile, shake it off and walk away. No need to fuel the nonsense!
You will get asked a lot of questions on motherhood.
One of the reasons I started this blog in the first place was because I have always, always been asked things on parenthood and how to handle situations and what not. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know a thing or two about parenting, and I definitely don’t mind the questions at all! But, I don’t have all the answers. Most parents of big families are just trying to make it through the day without losing a kid to a giant tornado in the house.
Restaurants are a thing of the past.
Is it possible to take a big family out to eat? Of course! Is it also a disaster when most of those kids are very young? Probably.
When you think of all the things you have to deal with when leaving the house with six kids, it overwhelmingly exhausting. Add in going into public and trying to get them all to quietly eat their food so they don’t disturb others, is equally exhausting.
In our experience our kids are usually pretty good in public, but since the twins, we have been a bit terrified to take them all! So, for now, restaurants are a thing of the past and we will try when the twins are 18. Just kidding, sorta!
The food and clean laundry NEVER last long.
Have you seen the meme of the lady crying in the car because she bought so much food and it didn’t even three days? I laugh because its true!!
I can’t tell you how many times I have went grocery shopping, spent $300 plus thinking its all going to last, for it to all be gone within the week!
Goes the same with laundry! It can take me all week to finish every article of clothing but as soon as I’m done, we still have the clothes on our back which accounts for practically a whole load in itself!
Schedules and routine become your life.
For us, we thrive off of schedules and routines. When you have so many people in one family, especially when they all have their own activities going on, you have to have some sort of schedule or routine.
I have somewhat of an obsession with calendars because of this! If I didn’t have my calendar, I would be lost! Mom life entails the loss of your sanity and that pregnancy brain never truly leaves you. So, keeping track of schedules and coming up routine is definitely a big to do for this big family.
You always have loving arms around your neck.
Big family life can be exhausting with so many people to keep track of, but just as it can be exhausting it is also so full of love!
In a big family, you can expect there to be a lot of chaos, loud and messy playtime and fights, hardly ever a fully stocked cupboard and laundry towering to the ceiling.
But, you can also expect there to be hugs, uncontrollable giggling, constant bonding time and so, so, so much love!
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love this <3
Thank you!! 🙂
The part about making your marriage first priority is gold and I have always been a believer in this. So many people are so shocked to hear that and assume you’re leaving your kids high and dry but you’re setting the best example!
Yes, I completely agree! I used to think the kids HAD to come first, but then my mindset changed when I thought about where it was going to leave us when they grow up and move out?