How I Finally Accepted Being a Stay At Home Mom

I have been a stay at home mom for the last six and a half years. I left my full time “adult” job when I was a few months pregnant with our second son and I haven’t had a “real” job since.

Since leaving that job all those years ago, I have had 3 more babies, including twins, all while completing my bachelors degree and working a couple odds and ends jobs.

For six years I have been home with my kids and they know nothing but me being home with them. They know daddy works and mommy is home.

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Being a stay at home mom comes with so many benefits.

• We don’t have to worry about conflicting work schedules
• No daycare expenses
• Get to experience every milestone with my kids
• Don’t have to put my kids through the rough work routine
• I never have to take time off when the kids are sick or need me
• I get to stay home and decide when I want/need to leave
• No one is deciding how much or how little I get to spend with my kids
• I get to be present for my kids while they are little and growing
• I no longer have the guilt of paying someone else to raise my child while I work
• I’m on my own schedule – not a corporations
• I get to pursue things that I want to pursue while being home

Now those are some great benefits if I do say so myself.

BUT

I have never clearly seen any of these until recently. Honestly.

This whole stay at home mom thing had me dragging my feet. Simply getting my babies out of bed in the morning would have me in a bad mood because I was focusing on all the wrong things. I was so focused on all the things I was missing that I forgot all the things that I get to experience while being home with my kids.

I was so caught up in thinking it would be so much better being able to make my own money and be independent of my husband that I would search job boards for hours – and I mean hours everyday to find something that would work for our family. As long as I made X amount of money, I could put the kids in daycare and have a little extra every week.

I wracked my brain almost to the brink of insanity so that I could get out of the house and work. I was willing to give up everything that I have known for the last six years. Everything that my kids have known since the moment they were born. I was willing to give absolutely everything up for what? So I could pay for myself to get my hair and nails done, be independent? So I could live how I think someone else lives?

Thinking about this now is making me cringe.

As I type this I have all of my babies around me all snuggled up and watching a movie. I get to be surrounded by my babies and enjoy every moment and milestone with them. I feel almost ashamed that it as taken me six years to really realize what I get to do.

So, how did I finally fully accept that I am a stay at home mom and stop searching for things or jobs to make me happy?

To be honest God and my mother in law were “screaming in my face” that my place is at home.

What do I mean by “screaming in my face?”

I had signs coming at me from all directions telling me that my place was at home. Things would happen, sitters would fall through, interviews would go wack. The last big sign was all of my kids getting sick at once. If I had a corporate job I would have had to take the entire week off if not more to tend to my kids, most likely leaving me without a job.

Thankfully, my mother in law has been telling me for years that I didn’t need to go out and get a job because my place was at home. I was speaking with her and realized that these signs were all screaming at me that I needed to stop and just be at home. I felt like it was God telling me that I needed to stay home because in my mind, if He wanted me to work outside the home, He would make it happen.

How can you accept being a stay at home mom?

As I said before, it took me six years to finally accept my position as a mom. It’s not something that happens overnight and honestly, it takes a change of heart in my opinion and not just a change of mind. I don’t feel that you can talk yourself into accepting it. But here’s a list of things that I think can drastically help your heart to accept where you are in your journey as a stay at home mom.

• Think of your daily tasks as I get to instead of I have to
• Listen/look for the signs that the God is giving you
• Do things daily that bring you joy – for me it’s diffusing oils and working in the kitchen
• Focus on the pros of being at home instead of the cons
• Stop trying to control everything – let loose and remember that kids are kids, let them be little while they can be
• Remember that this is just a season and one day you won’t be as needed as you are now
• Embrace this time at home – if you really want out of the house there will be time when the kids are older
• Believe the working moms when they tell you how much they want to be at home with their kids
• Believe that you are blessed in the life you are living

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I hope that sharing this part of my journey in motherhood will help you embrace a part of yours. Being a mom isn’t easy but it doesn’t have to be a part of our lives that we dread. Also, it is 100% okay to not love being a stay at home mom, it’s hard work! That doesn’t mean we can’t accept it or learn to love being home. I hope you find joy in your journey and embrace being a stay at home mom.

Until next time,