Staying positive in a difficult “self inflicted” situation is usually just that – difficult.
We have all been in a position that we wish we weren’t in, that we could take back, wish we could turn time back, or just simply make the situation go away.
Of course, life doesn’t work like that and we must deal with the consequences of our behavior. More times than not, dealing with the consequences feels worse than the situation we put ourselves in in the first place.
Recently, I found myself in a difficult situation that I so desperately wish that I could turn time back. Again, because life doesn’t work like that, I’ve had a few crummy days but am on the up.
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How To Stay Positive In a Difficult Situation
As I mentioned above, recently I found myself in a position of a lot of guilt and shame. This situation was self inflicted and I should have known better than to be so careless with my actions. I’m a grown adult, I should have known better.
However, I was beating myself up instead of forgiving myself and moving forward.
After this incident, I think I have found the words to share with you how you can stay positive in a difficult situation.
Accept Responsibility
The first step to staying positive in a difficult “self inflicted” situation is accepting responsibility for your actions. I know this isn’t easy or even pretty, but you must hold yourself accountable.
It is so easy to point the finger or place the blame on someone else, but unless someone is physically forcing you to do something, you must take responsibility.
It’s kind of like that whole “the first step to recovery is acceptance” or however it goes. You get the point.
If you are going to positively move on from this situation, you must accept the truth of the matter.
Pray
This one may not be for you, but for me, I prayed and prayed and prayed even more.
I have shared this verse before, but I can’t tell you how many times I have laid in bed at night, thinking about everything that I have done, or am scared about. Even made up scenarios in my head that I know my postpartum anxiety likes to cook up.
Truly, I just picture a wave of anxiety, doubt, grief, shame, and I cast it on the Lord.
If you don’t share my faith, it is okay, and I would never “push it down your throat” but I do have to share because of all the times it has helped me.
Praying does answer prayers and for me, I feel at peace.
Vent
When you are in any type of situation you must be able to vent about it all. All of your frustrations, doubts, wins, and losses. Get it all out!
Never underestimate the power of sitting with a friend and letting it all out.
For me, my venting buddy is my mother in law. It doesn’t matter what it is, I know I can go to her and let everything out and she will give me honest feedback.
Just knowing I have someone I can go to that will sit and listen, or spend an hour on the phone talking about everything under the sun, helps tremendously!
However, my advice for a venting buddy – make sure it is someone that is going to be honest and hold you accountable. You have no room for someone to just brush off serious problems.
Sitting in silence and letting you vent is one thing, but helping you make excuses for why your behavior is acceptable is toxic.
Forgive Yourself
Again, I was just recently in this difficult situation and therefore have a fresh take on the matter.
The one thing I have been hearing is “it happened, stop beating yourself up and move on”. In other words, I need to learn from this situation, forgive myself and move on.
Yep, just as easy as that right? Just move on.
No, nothing is ever as easy as it sounds. It is so much easier to just pray about it, vent to someone and then move on, right?
No. Getting yourself into difficult situations usually takes about two seconds and then you spend at least two weeks agonizing about it. That’s the truth of it.
What I am learning though, is that they are right, I have to forgive myself for my actions and move on. I can’t stay stuck in this guilt and shame if I am going to be better and stronger the next time this situation arises.
Because I have been here before, I hopefully will know how to navigate the situation in the future. Hopefully, a full swerve of the situation entirely.
Stop beating yourself up, it happened. Forgive yourself because you’re human and we make mistakes, but now you will know for next time. It is a hard lesson learned and sometimes we need them so that we can redirect ourselves on the path we are taking.
I hope these 4 small steps will help you in staying positive in a difficult situation. If you have anything to add or how you stay positive, please feel free to share with me in the comments below.
Until next time,
