Hey there new stay at home mom! How exciting you get to be home with your babies, now! You are in for a treat and a little humor!
Maybe you have been saving and working and doing everything you could possibly do to try and stay home with your kiddos.
Or, maybe it wasn’t a choice and you were somewhat forced to stay home.
Either way, I’m here to help with my realistic must haves for new stay at home moms.
As a stay at home mom for the past 6 years, I came up with an honest list of must haves for you.
Before we begin, don’t take things too seriously, life is too short for that.
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Stay At Home Mom Must Haves
First And Foremost – Get Yourself A Strong Backbone!
Stay at home moms are known to sit on their butts all day and not do a single thing.
Yeah, that got ugly quick. Oops!
Be prepared, stay at home moms don’t bring in an income so basically they are lazy, worthless, do nothings that are responsible for every single inappropriate or disapproved thing their child(ren) do.
*insert massive eyeroll here*
Strap on your big girl undies and tell your peers to kiss it!
Just do it – take no sh*t and be the badass you are!
C O F F E E
Do not skip the coffee.
Even if you don’t like coffee, get it and submerge yourself in it daily.
Use these coffee syrups to make you feel like you are a princess with a pool boy on a luxury vacation and not a tiny persons snack b*tch.
You won’t regret it.
A Comfy – Not Sexy – Bathrobe
Girl, a stay at home moms outfit needs to match their lack of activity – get yourself a comfy bathrobe.
No, not one of those sexy, silky ones your hubs would love to see on you.
I’m talking a comfy, thick one with pockets to hold snacks, toys, your phone, remote, used kids tissues, and little pieces of whatever that you pull out of your toddlers mouth.
Bonus points if this robe can double as a winter coat or is ugly enough to embarrass your kids in the drop off line.
Honestly, as long as it has the ability to stay closed so your braless self isn’t exposed, you’re good.
A Bible Is A Must
I don’t care what religion you are or even if you’re not, you are going to need something to remind you there is a higher power you can call on to save you from your kids.
Yep.
Being a stay at home mom sounds like it’s a splendid time. You can finally be that Pinterest mom, crafting, singing nursey rhymes, and loving on her kids.
Listen. That lasts about .2 seconds and then the games begin. Be ready and read your bible.
Wine Bottle Opener
While you’re at it, order a pallet of your favorite wine and call it a day.
A Planner
Now, while you thought you had it all together start laughing until you cry and throw that idea out the window.
Your days are going to start running together and your memory is going to go to sh*t.
Yeah, I said it.
You are going to forget everything. Do yourself a favor and get a planner like this or even a giant dry erase board and start writing EVERYTHING down.
You will thank me later, trust me.
Have A Baby Sitter On Speed Dial
Honestly, I didn’t follow this advice until recently, but it’s needed.
You will need a break AT LEAST once a week.
Use that break for date night, or a day/night to do something you enjoy alone without the kids.
It will be needed, don’t skip it.
Find A Hobby
Unless you are one of those rich wives that can leave the house everyday and do allll the fun, expensive activities every single day with kiddos in tow, you are going to want to find a hobby.
For me, its this blog and a weekly kickboxing class.
For you it could be hiding from your kids in a closet eating snacks and watching Netflix from your phone, I don’t know.
Honestly, staying home every single day does start to feel like groundhogs day, make sure you can break it up with something you get excited about.
Mom Group
You know that movie “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” and they have dudes group?
Well, it’s like that, but moms and you just sit around a table guzzling coffee and b*tching about your families. HA!
Find yourself a group of like minded stay at home moms and get together with them and their kids.
Seriously.
I mean, there will be plenty of noise and you won’t be able to hear yourself think BUT it gets you around someone other than your kids and you have someone that understands why you feel like you’re going insane.
A Sense Of Humor
If you haven’t figured it out by now, this list is supposed to be a comical piece while also holding plenty of truth.
If you made it this far but snub your nose, you my dear friend, are going to be miserable as a stay at home mom.
You need to find the funny in the obnoxiousness of the everyday tasks.
There is no leaving work, the house and kids are a daily routine that can get old fast!
You don’t get paid, breaks, or to go home when the day is done.
So you need to find the good in the everyday.
Have a sense of humor, don’t take everyday too seriously, and for the love of all things holy, laugh at the ridiculousness!
There you have it – my pick for new stay at home mom must haves.
Hopefully, you found the humor in this list, but also found some truth and helpful tips. Can’t go wrong with a bathrobe and wine. 😉
Until next time,
Amy
